John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice and I know them, and they follow me.
This verse has caused a longing and a pursuit in my heart to know and follow the voice of Jesus. How would you answer the question, do you know his voice? At times, I feel compelled to act with a certainty that God is directing me to complete something specific. Other times, as I listen and wait expectantly, I can see him guiding me down a path without specific, detailed direction. It is more of a view of his hand weaving a tapestry of circumstances and events for his purposes. I have come to love both of these forms of communication from my creator. One is a specific task that he has given me in life to fulfill and the other is like an invitation to be with him and learn more of him and his ways. Both work together to grow and complete me as it deepens my love for him. For lent this past year, I wanted to be more diligent in my pursuit of his voice. I decided that each day, I would ask him to reveal to me what he wanted me to hear instead of me bringing him my agenda, my concerns, my fears, and my desires. The first day, my heart was troubled with concern about writing andpublishing. While I did not approach God with my concerns, God met me in them. God spoke to me about how I trust that his provision and his plan are perfect, but that I don’t completely trust in his path to get there. I don’t believe that his path is perfect.
Day 2 found me anxious over one of my children. Once again, instead of voicing my concern over the situation, I asked God what he wanted me to know for that day. Once again, he met me in the condition of my heart. He reminded me of Joseph’s words in Genesis 50:20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive as they are today. It was another reminder that his path is perfect and another situation in my life where I lack trust. No matterthe hardship, God will bring good from it to bring life to it. How precious that is to me. What a promise!
Day 3 found me without worry or concern. With the reminder of God being in control and seeking our prosperity and benefit, what did I have to fear? I was basking in the perfection of God. Yet, I found myself anxious, questioning whether God would speak deeply and personally if I had nothing that I was anxious about? I learned that my heart is so bent on anxiety. I found myself anxious over not being anxious. As I quieted myself and sought his voice, I heard nothing, but sensed that I needed to wait on the Lord. “Yes Lord, I will wait on you, but it would delight me if you spoke to me personally today. I want a personal conversation every day, an experiment of sorts, so I can see and share with others that when we seek you, you are a personal, speaking, revealing God. Are my motives wrong? Am I asking you to be a genie in this? I’ve heard you in my anxiety and my trouble. You are there when I need you. What about when my mind isn’t troubled? Would you speak to me today?” I then heard him say that haste and delay do not exist for him. His timing is as perfect as his path, which is as perfect as his plan and provision. His timing perfectly coincides with his path. I will be satisfied with that truth Lord, but I long for more. I long to hear your voice today and every day. What else do I need to learn today? His response was beautiful. “You put me in a box when you face challenges. You view me as contained and small. I am never hasty, and I never delay. Wait on me! Trust me! In those times, instead of putting me in the box, put your circumstances in the waiting on the Lord box.”
With conviction I cry that my circumstances do not change the character of God. My challenges do not challenge the capacity of God to handle them. As my enemies or my trials grow, God remains constant in size and might. He is not careless, but careful. My circumstances don’t carry me away, he carries me through. He does not cast me aside. He communes with me and cocoons me with his caring, careful, comforting shield. I am cherished. Thank you, Lord! Psalm 1:2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
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